guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
