I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
high people should be assigned attendants
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
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The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
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I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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