i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
