I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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