I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
