i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just google imaged poop.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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