he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
