Do you still have your period?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
