my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
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