why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
