Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
