I'm jealous of your bromance
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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