Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
