i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
