Sponge bath it is.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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