my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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