Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
