he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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