There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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