I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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