His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
