one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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