i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
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I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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