Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
