Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
