He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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