Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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