I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
