Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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