So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
