do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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