were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
