He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
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this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
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Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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