Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
