NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
