Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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