Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Randomize
