Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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