First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
