i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
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he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
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He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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