I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
