How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
