you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
