i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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