Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
