I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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