What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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