he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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