She said her name was "party"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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