I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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