Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize