Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
