let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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