Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
