I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
