I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
