I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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