does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
