I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
