the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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