that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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