Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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