question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
