She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
